DO YOU THINK IT MAY BE THE PAIN MEDICATION??
(Exhausting experience from my shoulder surgery October 19, 2015

PREVIOUSLY UNDERSTOOD PURPOSE OF POST-SURGICAL RECOVERY SLEEP:
Rest, deep slumber and rejuvenating sleep

NEWLY UNDERSTOOD REALITY OF POST-SURGICAL RECOVERY SLEEP:

9pm. Looking forward to a restful sleep in a recliner in my own bedroom.

9:11pm Overnight visitor Jiggabug (Janie) wants to see where the doctor put a boo boo on PeePop’s shoulder. Stop preparing for sleep. Remove shirt so said boo boo can be observed and commented upon.

9:33pm arrangement of Adleyn’s two millioner kroner Norva-Nordisk torso omorganisering apparat (torso rearranging engineer apparatus). Place CPAP machine in optimal position. Arrange footstool with cool blanket to keep legs from sticking to leather and warm blanket to pull over body. Set up TV tray with needed accessories (flashlight, ice water, cell phone, etc.) at left. Take pain medication with water. Put on CPAP mask. Arrange helpful shoulder sling on right side. This is akin to sewing a large black possum to your side, and as about as comfortable. Develop the need to pee. Get up, unhook, do task, return and repeat process of arrangement.

10:12pm. Close eyes and drift off to sleep. Drug-assisted dream sequence starts: I have wholly misunderstood the purpose of post-surgical sleep. My new understanding reveals that it is actual a nightly repeat of the surgical nightmare until complete. New surgery is done each night in the sequence. Garage doors are opened to my body where a front-end loader removes objects of impediment to operations (like a 1955 Chrysler). Possum likes gizzards. I realize with horror that I have failed to check item 367(a) on page 128 of the 5 pound medical responsibility release package and that I still HAVE my gizzard. Hoping this won’t be discovered (by the Worldwide Council on Confusion in government paperwork (or by possum). First incision made with glove-like banana space pods. No pain but not much fun. Hoping the next night’s surgery will be quieter. Several hours of poking, prodding and removal of unnecessary bodily parts ensue. I wake up screaming. Actual elapsed time? 12 minutes. I close my eyes again for sleep and another three days worth of exciting surgery dream. More of same. Actual elapsed time. 22 minutes. Left leg is now numb, my cool covers are hot and my hot covers are cool. CPAP machine creating new melodies. Right leg is restless and has left the area, probably to find more leg at a neighborhood bar. I finally make it to 10pm. No sleep on the horizon but it is now 11:51. Should I try to read for awhile? Go for a walk? Listen to every dog in the neighborhood bark if I step out of my garage? Or go looking for my right leg?

Maybe it’s the pain medication?

 

Papa took us to his band rehearsal tonight. He plays drums with the Cavaliers Orchestra. Papa says it’s a big swing band. We didn’t see any swings, or any other playground equipment, but the music sure had us tapping our toes. We stood on the big floor tom tom for a while but when Papa would hit it, we’d bounce high in the sky like on a trampoline.

We thought it was fun, but Papa said we might sail over and land in a trombone slide. I guess that’s another one of those musical terms, because we didn’t see a playground slide either.

We learned that there are 17 players in four groups: saxophones, trumpets, trombones and rhythm. The rhythm section has drums, guitar, bass and piano. The piano lady was really nice and let us run up and down the keyboard. She called it “tickling the ivories.” We don’t know what ivories are but it was fun tickling the piano keys with our bare feet.

We love going with Papa on his musical adventures!

Love,

The “Flattsie Girls”

“Petey seeks adventure; it’s deep down in his bones. He gets bored while chasing pirates, but loves the great unknown.” This quote apply describes my grandson Pete who is the inspiration for the Professor Petey character and star of two fun books – The Amazing Adventures of Professor Petey, and the upcoming The World (According to Professor Petey). The idea began to form when his confidence at age four prompted him to announce from the back seat – “Papa. I am MUCH smarter than you!”

At age five he was, in his mind, an expert on most any subject and would promptly inform you “Actually, that’s not correct).

Fortunate to have a Marine Biologist mother who fosters many educational opportunities and a father who is the Master of a huge Navy ship, Petey has been from Austin to Boston to Honolulu. He has been to Guam where he earned his junior deep ocean Scuba quals and explored the Galapagos Islands. In fact, he got into trouble at his elementary school in Texas when he was absent for the unit on volcanos. The reason he missed? At the time, he was inside a volcano in Hawaii!

He is a non-stoppable quoter of facts and interested in so many things that he is hard to keep up with. His alter-ego Professor Petey has grown into a fun caricature of a rambunctious kid who wants to see and do everything. His sense of adventure is reminiscent of the wild abandon of a Calvin and Hobbs type character. He seeks adventure and can’t wait to tell you about it. After all, he has chattered with ancient skeletons in the catacombs of Rome, given lectures to a ten-foot Polar Bear and taught a grumpy crocodile the proper way to smile!

Librarians are excited about the upcoming publication of The World (According to Professor Petey) because they say it makes geography fun, it broadens the student’s horizons, the rhyming draws the kids in and the illustrations are so colorful and fun.

Pick up a copy for your child or grandchild as soon as it rolls off the presses. While you’re at it, get one for yourself – to read under the covers late at night with cookies and a flashlight! Go ahead, be a kid again, and experience The World (according to Professor Petey).

This new book by author and illustrator Stephen Scott will be available on Amazon, the Kudzu King website www.thekudzuking.com, and from the trunk of his car!